As promised the first zombie haiku of the new year. Originally I thought this book was just a bunch of random poems. I was wrong. Apparently it is a journal of sorts chronicling the end of days for the world and in particular the author. The cheesy backstory is the author is a poet of sorts yet he chooses haiku as his form. I thought real poets abhorred haikus? Aren't they like only for children and teenagers looking for straight D's on their English projects? I would share these in the order they occur in the book but that would take years and probably would be too much plagiarism. Instead I will read through, give some background and share snippets. Let's start at the beginning though. This man is starting his descent into madness and early on starts out with one of his most touching haikus.
Zombie Haiku
Brains, brains, brains, brains, brains.
Brains, brains, brains, brains, brains, brains, brains.
Brains, brains, brains, brains, brains.
Apparently zombies like brains.
Resolutions
It's that time of year again. The time we all decide to better ourselves and make a list of things we are going to do in the upcoming year. Normally I don't set resolutions. Just don't see the point to it. I'll just forget what they were and get disappointed around February when I fail everything. This year however I do have one resolution to set. MOAR ZOMBIIIIESSS! My cousin bought me some zombie books last year so I could continue the monthly zombie posts. It's about time to start using them. Starting January I will be posting zombie stuff every month. The best part? It's zombie poetry! It doesn't get much better than that. Let's see if this will be a resolution I keep.
HaxXors!
For those of you that didn't see my Facebook on this already Gawker and all of their sites were hacked.
For those that don't know Gawker runs the following sites; Kotaku, Gawker, Deadspin, Jezebel, i09, Jalopnik, Fleshbot, Gizmodo, and LifeHacker. Almost all of Gawkers login information was compromised and released on bittorrent. If you had a login for any of those sites this means if you use the same login here or anywhere else on the web thousands of people now have your password. Change any account with that password and avoid using a shared password on any Gawker site until everything is settled and they fix their security. Some people are already reporting their email accounts and other accounts being compromised and sending out tons of spam etc.... There is a list of all compromised accounts out on Google Docs if you want to verify.
Otherwise just be safe and make sure you always use strong passwords and don't share password for super important sites like your bank or anywhere with your credit card info. An article with a lot more in depth information can be found here.
No Purchase Necessary
If sure everyone has heard of seen these three words before. Basically any contest, sweepstakes or similar promo says no purchase necessary. From what I understand it is so they can run their contests without it being considered gambling (when in fact it really is). Often to take advantage of the no purchase necessary part you have to jump through hoops and send self addressed stamped envelopes to some sweepstakes center and wait a few weeks to get a single entry in a contest. Sometimes you get lucky and something like this Burger King promo happens. Basically you are only allowed 6 entries per day and you normally get them from buying Whopper meals. Strangely you can also just click a link and get 6 free entries a day sent to your registered email address. So why would you even spend money on Whopper meals if you can use up your allotted 6 entries in a day just from the free ones? It baffles the mind but free is always good in my book (technically now they have your email on file but I always give out my spam mail account anyway).
Even better is I won this contest! My first win of this kind and it felt great. It also only took me 3 codes. It may be hard to see but I circled my name on their website and you can go there bkkinect.com and see it for yourself too. I just got the shipping notification so hopefully it comes in time for me to resell for an inflated amount. It's nice to win something that is sold out and in super high Christmas demand otherwise known as the 'Tickle Me Elmo' effect.
Anyone else that is interested in trying their luck just head over to the site, register and then on the screen where you enter in the codes click the don't have a code link.
My ears, they burn; but somehow my kids will learn.
Ooh look a top 5 list! I love these things. Or at least like most people I love getting my data in top list format. There is just something about them that I can't resist no matter how mundane or useless the list is.
Last night my cousin sent me a youtube video (something else I just can't resist) of some crazy, acid trip kids show of the likes not seen since Teletubbies called Boohbah.
This got me to thinking and reminiscing about other crazy kids shows that come to mind and more importantly the obnoxious, odd, brain melting songs that I can never remove from my memory. Any of my maybe 3 readers, if you have kids make sure they are in the room when you watch these. That way they get addicted and will beg you to keep playing them.
To start things off at my number 5 I have an oldie but goodie. Maybe one of the most iconic songs in young kids shows history. I Love You from Barney and Friends:
Another song from that era of kids programming that comes in at my number 4 is from a lesser watched show that I actually liked more than Barney. Unfortunately it is also one of the most annoying songs ever written, and it never ends. The Song that Never Ends from Lamb Chop's Play-Along.
Next up on my list is a song that really isn't all that obnoxious. It's also from a show that I didn't hate. In fact it is hands down the best kids show ever made. This song just somehow is always in my head and will never leave. My wife even catches me singing it to myself at home. A New Way to Walk from Sesame Street.
Now for some more modern kids shows. At number 2 is a song I drove one of my best friends crazy with. I got her son super addicted to this song and I'm sure she'll be glad I'm giving it a mention here. Maybe her son will hear it again! You Are a Pirate from Lazy Town.
And now for my number 1 kids song that I can't stand and for some reason can't ever forget. I don't understand this show, I don't understand this song and I can't for the life of me figure out why this show is so popular. The writing is horrible and nothing makes any sense. At least stupid Saturday morning cartoons didn't pretend to be educational... or did they? Knowing is half the battle and the power is yours anyway. Party in My Tummy from Yo Gabba Gabba.
And now if you are familiar with my lists I tend to throw in an honorable mention in. Mostly just because I forgot something and I want to include it anyway. This time there is a valid reason or at least I'm making one up. I couldn't really include this last one in since it is a cartoon and is not normally considered in the same category as these other shows. It does have the annoying songs though! The Spongebob Theme from, duh, Spongebob.
Halloween time!
Being short on cash and motivation this year I almost didn't do anything for Halloween. Fortunately (I think) for everyone my wife and I decided last minute to put together costumes and carve a pumpkin. For the costumes we didn't want to spend a whole lot of money. Not like my $100 ensemble to go as Plaxico Burress last year. This means we made costumes out of clothes we had. Or in other words my wife dressed me up in her clothes. Viewer discretion is advised.
In this one my wife was teaching my how to sit and pose properly. I don't think I passed:
A standing shot trying to look like a hot drag queen I guess:
And a hideous flexing shot:
Scary, I know. I now know what women put up with. Mascara is obnoxious and messes with your eyes, bras are tight and uncomfortable, you have to wear so many layers, and whoever knows the secret to keeping long hair out of the eyes, mouth and your food please share that with me.
As for the pumpkin it isn't quite as gender bending. Instead of the traditional two eyes, nose and mouth we went a little crazy. We wanted to do one of those fancy pants scraped? style pumpkins that show shading and different levels of light. We also wanted mass appeal since I am entering in the contest at work so we did one of Mario in a Tanooki suit. I think it turned out great for our first time ever. We designed the pattern, carved, scraped, textured and lit the thing. It took 4-5 hours but it was fun. At least until the end when our hands were sore and stained orange. I would also like to take a moment and thank Martha Stewart for making such wonderful pumpkin carving kits. Way better than the $1 Walmart ones.
In progress:
Lights on:
And the final product:
Happy Halloween everyone. Don't dream of female Joe too much.
Jackpot!
Now all the thrill of losing your life savings whilst only wasting time and never getting a payout. I present to you the Lottery Simulator.
Knowing how much some people play the lottery this is kind of depressing actually.
Dogs get all the bad words
I was driving to work today and I noticed a person trying to get rid of puppies outside the local grocery store. On their handwritten sign they listed the puppies as "Shih tzu poo' puppies." I guess these were a mix between shih tzus and poodles. So is the proper name a Shiht poo or Poo Shiht for these? Would I get weird looks for asking a pet store if they had any?
Doppelganger
Lately there has been a lot of BYU news when it relates to collegiate sports. With the loss of Utah the Mountain West Conference is not looking too good anymore and BYU is planning to/already has left the conference to pursue independent status in the NCAA. The bigger news in my opinion is our new school sports slogan. We Are!
Really BYU? That is the best you could come up with? Do we need to be even more like Penn State? There have been more than one instance of me finding Penn State apparel in the BYU bookstore. If it's confusing enough to confuse a minimum wage college bookstore stock supervisor then imagine how annoying it is for the rest of us. Let's go over all the things that make us just like Penn State. Note: It is possible some of these things were BYU related before they were Penn State related but for comparison sake I'm just going to list them all.
Happy Valley - I've heard both areas referred to by this name. For Penn State it refers to the area around the State College campus and the sports teams that reside there. It apparently was from the Great Depression because that area was not hit as hard by the difficult times. For BYU the area south of Salt Lake is commonly referred to as Happy Valley as well. I would assume the meaning now more relates to the presumed happiness of the Mormons who live there but all the references to it I could find in my whopping 2 minute Google session refer back to prescription drug abuse by Mormon housewives. Err what? Then again that's a much more modern description than the original nickname.
Colors - Both schools use blue and white. Technically BYU uses Dark blue and white with some tan but it is still very similar. Looking at multiple logos, uniforms, ads, etc... they are often identical. Going a little bit back in time BYU also just used blue and white.
Mascot - What the heck is a Nittany Lion? Oh it's just a mountain lion that once roamed the Mount Nittany area near the school. What's another word for mountain lion? Cougar. Fun fact, a cougar is also an older woman cruising for younger men.
Now we have the same chant; We Are! I know it's not the most original slogan in the world but that's just my point. 0 points for originality BYU. Fully Invested was much better (even if it required an apparel purchase to be true). On second though that one was stupid too.
Douchebag parking and why I'm beginning to be for it.
The douchebag park job. We've all seen it. Whether it be at the far end of a parking lot or right up in front to show off someone's ride it happens everywhere. Even at my work we have at like 5-6 people practicing this style of parking. It used to be obnoxious and annoying to me but with recent developments I've becoming more and more supportive of it. Why you ask? Because even bigger douchebags keep damaging my car and then fleeing the scene. No note, no sorry, nothing.
I don't drive a super expensive tuner or gigantic beyond practicality truck. I just drive a simple Prius. But I still hate it when people door ding or straight up hit my car and do nothing about it. My first hit was by a teenage girl driver going way too fast in the church parking lot. She miss-judged a turn and skimmed across my front bumper. She at least came and got me to apologize. Since then that same front bumper has been scraped, bumped and pressed against at least 3 more times. I understand there is already damage there but quit hitting it! I notice the new marks and scratches and it's infuriating. The back bumper I originally damaged slightly but lately it's been like the front bumper. I keep getting newer scratches and dents. It has been hit also at least 3 more times. One even looks like someone took a pole or something and poked at it 5 or 6 times. The passenger door couldn't survive parking lot damage either. The first was actually on the street when someone full on pulled out into my car. It left extensive damage and I had to pay to get the doors replaced. That was fun on my budget. Now just a couple of days ago I come out after eating at a restaurant and some idiot opened their door into the side leaving a huge paint transfer and some scratches. It just doesn't end.
More and more I niw see why people park in the back of lots or park diagonal. Then all you need to worry about is people keying your car. If it keeps up I may just have to join in with the douchebag parking bandwagon.
New Baby!
Well that didn't take long. Just over a month after being married, Joseph and Becky Meyers are proud to announce a new addition to our family. At 55" and around 90 pounds this bundle of joy will provide hours of happiness to come. This Samsung UN55B8500 TV is rated the best of the best LCD TVs. It comes with 240Hz anti motion blur technology (which is useless since our eyes can't take advantage of it) and a full array LED back-lighting system. We opted to not go for 3D since that is still new, still super expensive, and you have to pay $150 a piece to wear dorky battery operated glasses. If and when 3D catches on then we'll upgrade... maybe. 3D is fun but I don't see myself wanting it all the time (that's what she said). I always have my Virtual Boy to fall back on for 3D anyway.
Just a few of my favorite things!
The time has finally come when the two greatest things in the world have joined forces; video games and Twilight!
Enjoy:
Two thumbs up!
Recently I have been very into a certain movie review site due to how they give their reviews. The reviewers at Spill, for the most part, are very in tune to the types of movies I like and their reviews are generally correct. They are also humorous (though often crude) and have a slightly different rating system than most. Siskel and Ebert (no one liked Ropert) had the thumbs up thumbs down method. Most everyone else uses stars or points out of 10. Spill uses a system based on if a movie is worth the money either at Full Price, Matinee, or Rental. Note, they have some other more vulgar ratings that I will ignore for now. This has got me thinking about how I rate movies. Often I find myself walking out of the dollar theater acknowledging that a movie was bad but that for $1 it was worth the experience and entertainment provided. Movies are also constantly changing and branching out. The medium has grown beyond a simple system. It requires a discussion and not just a simple point value. Aggregate sites like Rotten Tomatoes are good but the small blurb they include just isn't enough anymore. Regardless I would like to discuss some different ratings I've been thinking about and how they apply to movies.
3D or 2D
First off let's start with the newest craze. And by new I mean something that we've had since the 50's but can now charge an arm and a leg for it. I find that whether or not a movie is 3D worthy is important since reduced matinée prices and overall normal ticket prices are much higher for these. To get this at a home theater you have to pay even more for it. Luckily 3D is an easy rating. Does the 3D enhance the viewing of the film to justify the added price or is it just thrown in because everyone is doing and making off like bandits at the box office? Example: Avatar was the biggest 3D success so far and it has helped fuel the current 3D push. After seeing it in 3D I'll admit it doesn't have to have 3D or use it in a gimmicky way like the Disney Muppet's in 3D show but the 3D does successfully take already breathtaking graphics and scenery and makes it pop. The sense of flying and depth in many of the scenes is incredible. My slight fear of heights kicked in during certain scenes. This is a good use of 3D and it was worth it. On the other hand something like Alice in Wonderland (or is it Underland? yeah sure Disney) had 3D added just because they can and there is nothing gained from it. Some may argue it even detracts from the movie.
Size matters
Another consideration I often make is whether or not a movie is necessary to be watched on a big screen, a really big screen (IMAX) or at home. For the most part this is similar to the above 3D argument. Does the screen size enhance the movie to justify paying and going out to go see it. I understand there is something to be said about going out on a weekend date or liking a movie enough to pay extra to see it immediately but for the pure viewing experience does the screen size matter?
Most summer blockbuster action films would lean towards needing to be experienced at least once in the theater. My home theater is good but there is nothing quite like the sound and screens in an actual movie theater. Dollar theaters are the same price as a cheap rental at redbox and also have the large screen but often the film is all scratched up and this can be distracting when you are trying to get lost in the world created in a movie. IMAX, like 3D, is somewhat of a popular thing right now and also costs extra. IMAX + 3D even more so. For the most part movies don't need IMAX to be good. Again I will point to Avatar. In IMAX+3D this movie was spectacular and definitely worth it. I also saw Harry Potter in IMAX and while it did slightly enhance the movie it really wasn't worth the additional price tag.
Comedies and most dramas on the other hand don't even really need the theater screen. The most entertainment provided in the movie is from the dialog and there often aren't any large set pieces that justify the big screen. On a strict screen size justification these movies are just as good on a TV or even on a computer, iPod, iPad, telephone, hair curler, AM radio or whatever other movie playing device you may have. Example: I loved The Blindside but the big screen did nothing for it. I would have liked this movie no matter what device I watched it on.
But is the movie good or not
Now let's move into the most important aspect of a movie review. Is it good or not. The first two discussion act more as riders to the actual review. What people really want to know is if the movie is good or not. We all know any review is a matter of opinion so I won't go into that. Personally I tend to break movies down into a few broad categories: Opening night, matinée, dollar, date, kids and pirate.
Opening night - This is a movie I liked so much that I would recommend braving the crowds and superfans and screaming kids just to see on opening night/weekend. Camping out to see a movie is just plain silly but it could be viewed as the higher subcategory for this rating. There are a few of these such movies every year and even I still mostly watch all my movies during matinée times (because I'm cheap) I can still say they would have been worth it opening night anyway. The most recent example of this is Toy Story 3. Even at its worst Pixar movies are still better than any other movie out there. If you haven't seen it yet go now. It is amazing and I went to it full knowing that annoying, whining and out of control kids would be there and I loved every minute of it. Plus there was almost a fight between 2 sets of parents during the previews so bonus!
Matinée - Being a cheapskate I see all my movies matinée unless I have no other options. This rating however encompasses the majority of good movies. There are so many movies coming out that it would get quite expensive seeing every single one that was in the ok - good range. These movies are good movies but if we are honest with ourselves we really can't justify spending full price on them. Matinée is basically the same viewing experience anyway with the added fun of being blinded by the daylight when walking out of the theater.
Dollar - I am lucky enough to live in a town with a decent dollar theater. This allows me to watch many movies I'd otherwise never watch. There a tons of movies that aren't really good movies but are fun and entertaining. These movies really won't win any awards and can even have many flaws but at the end of the day they were just a dollar and no harm done. G.I. Joe is a great example of this. It's not a good movie. It is however a highly entertaining movie. It plays on the memory of the old cartoon and it provide a lot of fun action and humor to be well worth the dollar spent to see it. Yeah there were awful parts and stupid parts but it was just a dollar. "Hey it was only a buck!" is one of the best ways to sum up this rating. As a corollary Redbox worthy movies also fall into this category as they are also roughly $1 (blu-rays are slightly more). Netflix can also fit.
Date - Granted I do like some "chick-flicks" like Moulin Rouge or How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but for the most part I only will see certain movies because they are good for dates. Reversed a lot of girls will only see "guy-films" for the same reasons. Some horror movies are viewed for the same reasons on both sides. Date movies are just that, good for a date. Often I'd recommend not paying a lot for these as most also fall in around the Dollar rating and a great movie will transcend this category anyway. These movies serve one purpose and that is to get couples paying to see them instead of just having the guy or girl by themselves watching.
Kids - On a similar note, kids movies are only good if you have or are babysitting kids. Pixar movies while animated and generally pushing for a kids audience always are for adults as well. They easily are better than a movie I would classify as just for kids. There are a lot of garbage movies as well that aren't even good enough for this rating. Just because you make a kids movie doesn't mean it has to be crap either. Example: The Sponge Bob Movie is definitely for kids. Unless you are a die-hard Sponge Bob fan this would only be one to see if you had kids. The Spy Kids series is the same way.
Pirate - While I don't condone illegal activity I also don't condone garbage movies. People always say they will make crappy movies as long as they can make money off them so I guess the only recourse is to pirate them so they lose money. You don't even want to watch these movies they are so bad. Just pirate and distribute them to hurt the studios as much as possible. I'm actually kidding about pirating the movie but some movies are just this bad. I remember walking out of Year One thinking about how I just wasted a dollar. It was one of the few movies I've seen where I was tempted to ask for my money back. The Dollar rating is really the lowest rating on my scale but for turds like Year One I have the Pirate category.
So there goes my rambling and rough guide to how I rate movies. Of course I rate these in my head and probably won't be reviewing movies anytime soon on my blog or elsewhere but I felt like writing about it. Movie reviews are always at best guidelines and in the end people see whatever they want to see anyway (Shrek the 3rd did make tons of money). When asking me about a movie hopefully I'll be able to help steer you towards something enjoyable.
I doubled it down.
In case you haven't heard KFC just released a new "sandwich" called the Double Down. I put sandwich in quotes because this thing is missing one key ingredient for sandwiches, the bread. Now I know there are those Atkins type sandwiches with lettuce or something replacing the bread but are those really sandwiches either? What it does have, beside a nonsensical yet cool name, is 2 slices of bacon between 2 slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese between 2 chicken breasts smothered in special sauce. Most people I've talked to were disgusted by that description but to me it sounded like a dream come true. That dream had to wait a couple of days since I was unable to go try it the day it came out, April 12th.
Today, however, I did have time and went to enjoy some crazy unhealthy food for lunch. Not only did I get the Double Down meal but I also bought cheese curds at the recommendation of my friends. They opted to replace their potato wedges with curds but I really wanted my wedges so I bought an order of curds in addition to everything else. Not to mention I washed all that down with the draft root beer they have which I'm pretty sure has 10 times the sugar as their normal soda.
The Double Down was much better than expected. I figured seeing as everything in it was fried it would be gushing with grease and oil. It was greasy but not very. Fried chicken is bound to have some grease but there was no exorbitant amounts of it like I expected. Early reports were that it was super salty but again while salty it wasn't excessive. All in all the Double Down was quite enjoyable and I didn't feel gross or sick like I always do after eating McDonalds. The cheese curds were also divine. Granted they weren't really cheese curds; more like mini mozzarella sticks with white cheddar as the cheese. Unfortunately at ~$3.50 for a small box of them I will pass on my next visit. I am going to go back for more Double Downs though. I found a favorite new guilty pleasure food.
Surprisingly enough the nutritional facts of the Double Down aren't really that bad for what it is. The original recipe version has only 540 calories. 32 grams of fat, and 1380 grams of sodium. OK that's not really a diet food either but who cares? You don't exactly eat something like this to lose weight. For reference a Big Mac is worse and so is this milkshake from Baskin Robbins that I sadly never had time to sample before they pulled it :(
Oh and for the vegans who feel left out you can always make yourselves a no meat version at home.
10 words or less
Warning this post contains video games and is not suitable for respectable people!
I've been playing a lot of games lately so i wanted to do a quick recap of each in 10 words or less. Only gamers will probably understand any of this post.
Mass Effect 2
--Probe launched.
Final Fantasy XIII
Critter Crunch
--Feed your son by puking rainbows.
Battlefield: Bad Company 2
--I wish my friends were playing Call of Duty instead.
White Knight Chronicles
--Big Red x 1000
Demon's Souls
--Died, died, died, died, died, taking a break.
TTFN
Still kickin'
Just checking in to make sure everyone knows that I didn't in fact die but more just got lazy and completely neglected my blog. And by lazy I really mean Final Fantasy 13 came out. I have been thinking about a lot of things to blog about lately but in the end I almost always had an idea related to Facebook. The website once predicted to destroy all mankind and corrupt children the world over is now completely mainstream and in every facet of our lives. It was even the first site we bypassed our work filters to get to. Facebook is here to stay but it's not always a good thing.
Long ago I wrote a post about 5 things that I hated about Facebook. Since that whole favorite 5 list craze is now gone (thank goodness) I will structure this post a little differently. Let's start with 2 things that I strongly dislike but sadly am guilty of participating in myself.
First things first. Joseph and Becky are getting married!! Technically I wasn't the one who created this but I did lend my name to it and I am marrying the girl so since we are to be as one this is also my fault. Yes we have the oh so common (especially in Mormonville) marriage group. People get married here so much that I literally see a new update about one of these daily. It really brings to light how poorly we keep in touch with people. Nobody knows anyone else's address. At least my group was mostly for kicks and we just shared a few pictures and didn't even ask for addresses on it.
Which brings up the next thing which I am fully guilty of. Remember when your parents used to complain that instead of visiting your friend you called? And then it was using AIM instead of calling. Then back to calling but this time from a cellphone. Well now you jump on Facebook or Twitter or something similar. I am fully guilty of this. My brother chastised me when compiling addresses because I Facebooked people instead of calling them. Most our invitations are mailed out and I just today remembered to call my friends who aren't on Facebook and even then I just texted them. It reminds me of the other day when there was a crisis at work and someone was trying to reach my supervisor. He actually got on his Xbox and went into game to message my supervisor and it worked! Wow, maybe I should write letters again. For you kid readers a letter is this thing you write on paper. We used to prefer to write in cursive because it was frivolous and fancy. Then you put it into a folded piece of paper called an envelope. then you put... crap I'm over 140 characters I've lost them anyway.
Next up is the one thing from my last list that somehow survived. Everything else ended up being a fad but Mafia Wars lives on. Or more generally Zynga is taking over the world one farm at a time. Never heard of Zynga? What about Farmville, YoVille, Mafia Wars, Vampire, PetVille or Cafe Wars. If you've been on Facebook you know of people who always seem to be finding those darn eggs they just can't use. It may seem tempting to take those eggs off their hands or help them build something but don't do it, it's a trap! these "games" are nothing more than timer bars with micro-transactions built in. Yes you can play for free but how else will you get that shiny new tractor. I work for a game company that uses the micro-transaction business model and they make a ton of money feeding on addiction. Ooh a new costume is released; let's buy 50 boxes that have a chance of dropping it. Or let's buy the new cute pet. A recent news article reported a boy was so addicted he spent all his money and then stole his mom's credit card to rack up a $1,400 bill on the game. I got to admit though the system works and it works oh so very well.
Even more scammy than Zynga are those stupid gift card and other giveaways everyone participates in. Really? Best Buy is just handing out $1000 gift cards just for being a fan of them? Really? You actually believe this? Come on common sense people! If it were IKEA on the other hand that's got to be legit. Oh wait? That was a scam too? But 37,000+ other people tried it so it must have been real. that IKEA one was snatching 5,000 new suckers per hour! you would think we'd be smarter than that. If it takes you off Facebook, asks for personal information, is too good to be true, or any of the multiple red flags these things send up it is a SCAM! Oh and there is no super Disney secret, funniest video ever, or super hot girl you need to be a fan of to find out more about either. Those are viruses or porn. Maybe you knew the girl one was porn but there are easier ways to find that. The worst part is people because fans of these "just to check them out" but claim they actually never went to the site or participating for real. Guess what? You just opened your entire contact list to spam. This in turn might get a handful more people to "just check them out" and boom your are advertising for criminals.
To end on a less serious note I bet I can find 1,000,000 people who think Obama is a Communist onion ring and thereby is more popular than Justin Bieber and Nickleback combined. Is it just me or is it sad that all those types of pages have no where close to 1,000,000 people? 1,000,000 people? I bet you can't.
This is freakin' amazing!
Double April Fools I do plan on writing one just not this instant!
It's a trap!
So my work has given me a company phone to use. This new one is a huge upgrade over my old phone. I used to use a simple Sony Ericsson "walkman" phone. That's right my phone has the special ability to play music. So can my iPods, computer, laptop, playstation, gameboy, DS, alarm clock, transistor radio, TV, car, and birthday cards. Pretty high tech right there. The new phone I got is a Blackberry Curve. They call it a smart phone! So far it hasn't solved any of life's mysteries but here is what I can do with it:
Listen to Pandora while taking a dump
Check emails while taking a dump
Play poker with other people most likely also taking a dump
Pinpoint the exact location I am currently taking a dump
Edit this blog while taking a dump
Identify a song that sounds most like taking a dump (think Miley Cyrus)
Take pictures of the dump I took
Facebook those pictures
and the list goes on....
Seriously, every time I'm in a public bathroom I hear everyone around me on their phones. No wonder the magazine and newspaper industries are failing.
But here is the twist. My company pays hundreds I'm sure for the unlimited data plan and everything else this type of phone uses. It all seemed fine and dandy until the other night while watching TV I caught myself responding to a work email off my phone. It's a trap! It started with me innocently seeing an alert for a new email. I got curious and checked it out. "Oh," I thought to myself, "I can answer this quick. It's an easy question," and then boom they got me doing work from home! They also got me carrying this thing everywhere I go. I'm just a short phone call away. At least with my old phone I could turn it off or drop it in a lake. Since this new phone they pay for I can't. This must be how doctors feel.
Note: for any supervisor reading this I love my job and this is a joke. Hahahahaha joke hahahaha. Please don't fire me :-P