Two thumbs up!

Recently I have been very into a certain movie review site due to how they give their reviews. The reviewers at Spill, for the most part, are very in tune to the types of movies I like and their reviews are generally correct. They are also humorous (though often crude) and have a slightly different rating system than most. Siskel and Ebert (no one liked Ropert) had the thumbs up thumbs down method. Most everyone else uses stars or points out of 10. Spill uses a system based on if a movie is worth the money either at Full Price, Matinee, or Rental. Note, they have some other more vulgar ratings that I will ignore for now. This has got me thinking about how I rate movies. Often I find myself walking out of the dollar theater acknowledging that a movie was bad but that for $1 it was worth the experience and entertainment provided. Movies are also constantly changing and branching out. The medium has grown beyond a simple system. It requires a discussion and not just a simple point value. Aggregate sites like Rotten Tomatoes are good but the small blurb they include just isn't enough anymore. Regardless I would like to discuss some different ratings I've been thinking about and how they apply to movies.

3D or 2D

First off let's start with the newest craze. And by new I mean something that we've had since the 50's but can now charge an arm and a leg for it. I find that whether or not a movie is 3D worthy is important since reduced matinée prices and overall normal ticket prices are much higher for these. To get this at a home theater you have to pay even more for it. Luckily 3D is an easy rating. Does the 3D enhance the viewing of the film to justify the added price or is it just thrown in because everyone is doing and making off like bandits at the box office? Example: Avatar was the biggest 3D success so far and it has helped fuel the current 3D push. After seeing it in 3D I'll admit it doesn't have to have 3D or use it in a gimmicky way like the Disney Muppet's in 3D show but the 3D does successfully take already breathtaking graphics and scenery and makes it pop. The sense of flying and depth in many of the scenes is incredible. My slight fear of heights kicked in during certain scenes. This is a good use of 3D and it was worth it. On the other hand something like Alice in Wonderland (or is it Underland? yeah sure Disney) had 3D added just because they can and there is nothing gained from it. Some may argue it even detracts from the movie.

Size matters

Another consideration I often make is whether or not a movie is necessary to be watched on a big screen, a really big screen (IMAX) or at home. For the most part this is similar to the above 3D argument. Does the screen size enhance the movie to justify paying and going out to go see it. I understand there is something to be said about going out on a weekend date or liking a movie enough to pay extra to see it immediately but for the pure viewing experience does the screen size matter?

Most summer blockbuster action films would lean towards needing to be experienced at least once in the theater. My home theater is good but there is nothing quite like the sound and screens in an actual movie theater. Dollar theaters are the same price as a cheap rental at redbox and also have the large screen but often the film is all scratched up and this can be distracting when you are trying to get lost in the world created in a movie. IMAX, like 3D, is somewhat of a popular thing right now and also costs extra. IMAX + 3D even more so. For the most part movies don't need IMAX to be good. Again I will point to Avatar. In IMAX+3D this movie was spectacular and definitely worth it. I also saw Harry Potter in IMAX and while it did slightly enhance the movie it really wasn't worth the additional price tag.

Comedies and most dramas on the other hand don't even really need the theater screen. The most entertainment provided in the movie is from the dialog and there often aren't any large set pieces that justify the big screen. On a strict screen size justification these movies are just as good on a TV or even on a computer, iPod, iPad, telephone, hair curler, AM radio or whatever other movie playing device you may have. Example: I loved The Blindside but the big screen did nothing for it. I would have liked this movie no matter what device I watched it on.

But is the movie good or not

Now let's move into the most important aspect of a movie review. Is it good or not. The first two discussion act more as riders to the actual review. What people really want to know is if the movie is good or not. We all know any review is a matter of opinion so I won't go into that. Personally I tend to break movies down into a few broad categories: Opening night, matinée, dollar, date, kids and pirate.

Opening night - This is a movie I liked so much that I would recommend braving the crowds and superfans and screaming kids just to see on opening night/weekend. Camping out to see a movie is just plain silly but it could be viewed as the higher subcategory for this rating. There are a few of these such movies every year and even I still mostly watch all my movies during matinée times (because I'm cheap) I can still say they would have been worth it opening night anyway. The most recent example of this is Toy Story 3. Even at its worst Pixar movies are still better than any other movie out there. If you haven't seen it yet go now. It is amazing and I went to it full knowing that annoying, whining and out of control kids would be there and I loved every minute of it. Plus there was almost a fight between 2 sets of parents during the previews so bonus!

Matinée - Being a cheapskate I see all my movies matinée unless I have no other options. This rating however encompasses the majority of good movies. There are so many movies coming out that it would get quite expensive seeing every single one that was in the ok - good range. These movies are good movies but if we are honest with ourselves we really can't justify spending full price on them. Matinée is basically the same viewing experience anyway with the added fun of being blinded by the daylight when walking out of the theater.

Dollar - I am lucky enough to live in a town with a decent dollar theater. This allows me to watch many movies I'd otherwise never watch. There a tons of movies that aren't really good movies but are fun and entertaining. These movies really won't win any awards and can even have many flaws but at the end of the day they were just a dollar and no harm done. G.I. Joe is a great example of this. It's not a good movie. It is however a highly entertaining movie. It plays on the memory of the old cartoon and it provide a lot of fun action and humor to be well worth the dollar spent to see it. Yeah there were awful parts and stupid parts but it was just a dollar. "Hey it was only a buck!" is one of the best ways to sum up this rating. As a corollary Redbox worthy movies also fall into this category as they are also roughly $1 (blu-rays are slightly more). Netflix can also fit.

Date - Granted I do like some "chick-flicks" like Moulin Rouge or How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, but for the most part I only will see certain movies because they are good for dates. Reversed a lot of girls will only see "guy-films" for the same reasons. Some horror movies are viewed for the same reasons on both sides. Date movies are just that, good for a date. Often I'd recommend not paying a lot for these as most also fall in around the Dollar rating and a great movie will transcend this category anyway. These movies serve one purpose and that is to get couples paying to see them instead of just having the guy or girl by themselves watching.

Kids - On a similar note, kids movies are only good if you have or are babysitting kids. Pixar movies while animated and generally pushing for a kids audience always are for adults as well. They easily are better than a movie I would classify as just for kids. There are a lot of garbage movies as well that aren't even good enough for this rating. Just because you make a kids movie doesn't mean it has to be crap either. Example: The Sponge Bob Movie is definitely for kids. Unless you are a die-hard Sponge Bob fan this would only be one to see if you had kids. The Spy Kids series is the same way.

Pirate - While I don't condone illegal activity I also don't condone garbage movies. People always say they will make crappy movies as long as they can make money off them so I guess the only recourse is to pirate them so they lose money. You don't even want to watch these movies they are so bad. Just pirate and distribute them to hurt the studios as much as possible. I'm actually kidding about pirating the movie but some movies are just this bad. I remember walking out of Year One thinking about how I just wasted a dollar. It was one of the few movies I've seen where I was tempted to ask for my money back. The Dollar rating is really the lowest rating on my scale but for turds like Year One I have the Pirate category.

So there goes my rambling and rough guide to how I rate movies. Of course I rate these in my head and probably won't be reviewing movies anytime soon on my blog or elsewhere but I felt like writing about it. Movie reviews are always at best guidelines and in the end people see whatever they want to see anyway (Shrek the 3rd did make tons of money). When asking me about a movie hopefully I'll be able to help steer you towards something enjoyable.