Zombie of the month

Wow am I late with this month's zombie. I think the excuse I will use is that my work is blocking all our non-work Internet access so I can't update this as easy seeing as the calendar is at work. Ok, so technically blogger isn't blocked but with everyone watching the Internet usage closely right now I probably shouldn't be blogging from work anyway even if it is just to do the zombies.

One of the freakiest and most disturbing things in horror movies for me is closely related to this month's zombie. Evil children of any kind for some reason just plain freak me out. Whether they be demons, zombies, girl's stuck in wells or dybbuks (see below) they all give me nightmares. So here goes nothing, the Child Zombie!

Identifying Marks - Sunken eyes; discolored flesh; open wounds; delayed motor response; limited speech capability (i.e., low growls and moans)

Origin - Cosmic radiation; hell runneth over

Gore Factor - Particularly upsetting

Intelligence - Low; manipulative

Mobility - Slow with long-range roaming capabilities; lures victims

Hot Spots - Churches; abandoned schools; parks

Danger Rating - 11

I can't say I've ever heard of zombies created by cosmic radiation. I'm, pretty sure that's how Marvel superheroes are created so maybe the author of this got confused. Then again maybe there was a zombie X-Men or something. This month comes at a good time since I just finally got around to watching the movie The Unborn. Unfortunately that movie sucked. But at least the kid was freaky. Who cares how awful the movie was if that kid remained in my dreams for days to come? He technically wasn't a zombie but a dybbuk but close enough in my book.

I am a nerd. I like nerd things.

So anyone that knows me is well aware of this fact. I am a nerd. I have a computer degree, I am a software tester and I play tons of video games. Since I do nerd stuff so others don't have to I would like to share some of the things I enjoy. This way if anyone has the desire to join the nerdery or are curious as to how us nerds live I can highlight some of it.

Nerds like web comics, more specifically web comics about science, math and video games.

Two of my more favorite web comics are Penny Arcade and XKCD. Both of these are pretty well known even outside the nerd circles. Penny Arcade focuses mainly on video game culture and D&D so it may be a bit out there for some people. Heck I don't even get the humor some of the time either. XKCD covers the gamut of nerd friendly topics. They touch on video games, math, science, quantum physics, relationships, the collected works of Joss Whedon, and sci fi (sy fy if your CEO is a moron), and much much more. Ok you got me there, relationships aren't very nerdy but then again it seemed like the nerd majors in college had more married students than other. I highly recommend both sites but a word of warning to the kiddies that read my blog (where are your parents!) these comic do contain strong language and sometimes touch upon mature subjects so be careful.

Another nerdy habit of mine is to listen to video game related music from time to time. I don't really get into it that much though. Players of the game Rock Band may notice very strange songs on the download list from PAX. That type of stuff I normally don't like. Instead I listen to things like the remixed Chrono Trigger soundtrack. Chrono Trigger was one of the best games ever made and had great music to begin with. A group of fans took it a step further and remixed the songs which sound great. Lovers of classical music should also appreciate it since it is heavy on the full orchestra.

A more recent discovery of mine is a group called Anamanaguchi. They basically hacked (nerds love hacking) open an old school Nintendo and produce music through that. It has quite an interesting sound to it and their videos are all done in old video game graphics and timed to match the music. It is really an interesting idea and I recommend it to those looking for something different.

Lastly I would just like to point out that I like video games a lot and recently have been playing a lot of PS3. Current generation systems have things called trophies or achievements that basically provide you a list of time wasting goals to complete in games above and beyond the normal story. I found a neat site that updates an image with my progress and I felt like adding it to the blog. If it isn't up by the time you read this then I guess I wasn't nerdy enough to figure out how to code it in.

Oh and nerds also like to include lots of hyperlinks in their blogs. Enjoy!

Poak Chops

Recently my roommate took a trip down south to visit his family. While down there he had the pleasure of meeting with a musician named Tamechi who introduced him to his hit single Poak Chops. For those of you that don't speak "dirty south," poak chops are things you can shake on the dance floor. Obviously this is going to be one heck of a music video:

After watching that I was reminded of another set of music videos someone recently showed to me. I present to you Ms. Peachez:

I wasn't previously aware at how prevalent the whole transvestite, food related rap industry was but consider me enlightened. The similarities between the videos are many as well. All the videos have main singers dressed up as women, food related lyrics, tons of children gettin' freaky on the dance floor (and by dance floor I mean the backyard), booty shaking, and are set in very rundown parts of the south. I think out of the three Poak Chops is my favorite. I may even consider picking up the single on iTunes.

Zombie of the month

It is kind of sad my only posts lately have been zombie of the month posts but I just haven't felt like writing recently and have also been very busy. Oh crap now I sound like everyone else who neglects their blogs. Um I mean I haven't written lately because I am training for the world record in watermelon seed spitting and my coach disallows Internet usage as it causes lack of concentration. Much better.

The zombie for this month comes from across the pond and is also the only zombie showing its national pride in its name, the British Zombie!

Identifying Marks - Red eyes; discolored flesh; open wounds; immediate, lethal motor response; limited speech capability (i.e. snarls and shrieks)

Origin - Medical mishap; viral transmission

Gore Factor - Bloody awful

Intelligence - High

Mobility - Fast with medium-range roaming capabilities

Hot Spots - Merry Olde England; classic horror remakes

Danger Rating - 10

Wow a danger rating of 10!! I am never going to England again. All those jokes about bad teeth must be referring to the decay caused by an all brain diet. The British do love their sweetbreads. As for this mysterious country called "classic horror remakes," I wasn't familiar with it so I consulted Google maps. This pinpointed the homeworld of these zombies in Burbank California. So residents near Burbank and Cahuenga Boulevards beware. There be British amongst ye!

Note: I would have Binged (I wish this never becomes a real word) it but Microsoft is in cahoots with zombies and refuses to disclose their location as is proven by the following photograph.

Waste of space

Someone commented to me recently that I have been blogging less now that I am dating again. Interesting observation....

Zombie of the month

Since tomorrow is Saturday and this calendar is at my workplace you get the zombie of the month 1 day early! Lucky you. This month's zombie is the dreaded Atomic Zombie! Whatever that is...

Identifying Marks - Green eyes; pale skin; open seeping sores; instantaneous motor response; limited speech capability (i.e., screeches and shrieks)

Origin - Nuclear mishap; toxic-waste exposure

Gore Factor - Nasty

Intelligence - Low

Mobility - Low-range roaming capabilities; unexpected outbursts of radical violence

Hot Spots - Nevada; the former U.S.S.R.; North Korea

Danger Rating - 9

Not really sure what an Atomic Zombie is or why violent outbursts are classified as a mobility type but apparently they do exist except in limited areas. These limited areas yet again prove that the 3 Mile Island incident was not a bad thing but a good display of the effectiveness of the safety system in place. Even with as much human error as there was on that day the system still shutdown and worked as designed to prevent a true disaster, namely the creation of Atomic Zombies. Too bad everyone is still afraid of nuclear power.

Unlike the dog from last month this type of zombie doesn't seem to be too popular in video games or media and the American variety is currently gainfully employed in the making of those really annoying bikes that take up the road when you are late for work. I did however manage to find one picture of the North Korean variety. I think the glasses are to hide the trademark green eyes.

Joe's adventures in sexting.

Yeah you read that right, sexting. It's the new cellphone craze where you send nekkid pictures of yourself and receive then in return from the person you are sexting with. All the cool kids are doing it! Ok, I admit I just used that title to get your attention but I really do have a sexting story to share even though it is quite creepy.

I was just sitting at work one day hard at work and minding my own business. Notice how all bad stories start with "minding my own business" in the first few sentences? And I get this text message froma number I didn't recognize. I looked up the area code in google and it was from Texas. I have friends in Texas so I figured it may be one of them using a friend's/wife's phone or something. Here is how the conversation played out with the addition of my commentary on what I was thinking in paranthesis:

Unkown Caller: U there

Me: Yes who is this?

Unknown Caller: Ed

(Urge to ask a question about horses rising....)

Me: Ed who?

Ed: Ed

(At this point I figured it was a computer text spammer that would just answer "Ed" every time it saw the word "who" so I decided to mess with it)

Me: So if i type who you auto respond

Ed: Do what? Im confused

(I guess I confused him into thinking it was some secret password thing)

Ed: Did u get the pics i sent u yet

(This can't be good)

Me: I am trying to figure out who you are and it looked like you are a spam company

Ed: No spam co. Didnt we talk yesterday

Me: About?

Ed: We talked about us what we looked like u told me u would send pics of..........and i told u i would send pics of stuff

(I like his use of ".........." yadda yadda yadda would have worked to. I can't image which "stuff" he was trying to send me pictures of)

Me: You have the wrong number im afraid

Ed: Im so sorry how embarassing

("Go ahead and take a seat, take a seat right there." Sorry that was a South Park reference for those of you that didn't catch it)

Ed: Did i send pics 2 u by accident

(Thank goodness no)

Me: Negative

Ed: Ok good. Sorry

What is even creepier is no less than maybe 30 minutes later I get another random text, this time from Pennsylvania, that ended up being something very similar. So I can only hope this was from some stupid dating site and not child predators but who knows. Maybe it was Zac Efron getting the latest nudie shot from Vanessa Hudgens and my number is close. Who knows. just a very uncomfortable incident that has scarred my phone forever.