Every year our manager buys calendars for all the supervisor level employees in our department. These calendars range from workplace themed calendars like a cubicle decoration calendar to the more wacky 12 months of pirates calendar. They had an extra one (and by extra I mean unwanted) this year and it was gifted to me by one of the project managers. I present to you the Boogeymanuals Zombie Field Guide Calendar! That's right, I was given a zombie calendar at work, complete with all the requisite blood splatter backgrounds, grotesque faces, and somewhere in there is a very small calendar. Why ruin a perfectly good calendar with things like days of the week and month names? For the month of July we have the Dog Zombie:
Identifying Marks - Red eyes; oily, matted fur; open wounds with possible parasitic infestation; advanced motor response with lethal consequences; basic canine speech capability (i.e., snarls and growls)
Origin - Viral transmission
Gore Factor - Visceral; rabid
Intelligence - Medium
Mobility - Quick bursts of acceleration combined with superior agility
Hot Spots - Private medical facilities; government agencies
Danger Rating - 8
I always knew that the government was creating these undead dog armies but I had no idea they hoarded them in hospitals. Yet another reason to hate going to see doctors. Luckily I always carry a sawed-off shotgun and grenade launcher in my pocket to take care of any zombies I encounter having superior agility. Now I just need to figure out what a gore factor of "rabid" is referring to.
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