I doubled it down.

In case you haven't heard KFC just released a new "sandwich" called the Double Down. I put sandwich in quotes because this thing is missing one key ingredient for sandwiches, the bread. Now I know there are those Atkins type sandwiches with lettuce or something replacing the bread but are those really sandwiches either? What it does have, beside a nonsensical yet cool name, is 2 slices of bacon between 2 slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese between 2 chicken breasts smothered in special sauce. Most people I've talked to were disgusted by that description but to me it sounded like a dream come true. That dream had to wait a couple of days since I was unable to go try it the day it came out, April 12th.

Today, however, I did have time and went to enjoy some crazy unhealthy food for lunch. Not only did I get the Double Down meal but I also bought cheese curds at the recommendation of my friends. They opted to replace their potato wedges with curds but I really wanted my wedges so I bought an order of curds in addition to everything else. Not to mention I washed all that down with the draft root beer they have which I'm pretty sure has 10 times the sugar as their normal soda.

The Double Down was much better than expected. I figured seeing as everything in it was fried it would be gushing with grease and oil. It was greasy but not very. Fried chicken is bound to have some grease but there was no exorbitant amounts of it like I expected. Early reports were that it was super salty but again while salty it wasn't excessive. All in all the Double Down was quite enjoyable and I didn't feel gross or sick like I always do after eating McDonalds. The cheese curds were also divine. Granted they weren't really cheese curds; more like mini mozzarella sticks with white cheddar as the cheese. Unfortunately at ~$3.50 for a small box of them I will pass on my next visit. I am going to go back for more Double Downs though. I found a favorite new guilty pleasure food.

Surprisingly enough the nutritional facts of the Double Down aren't really that bad for what it is. The original recipe version has only 540 calories. 32 grams of fat, and 1380 grams of sodium. OK that's not really a diet food either but who cares? You don't exactly eat something like this to lose weight. For reference a Big Mac is worse and so is this milkshake from Baskin Robbins that I sadly never had time to sample before they pulled it :(

Oh and for the vegans who feel left out you can always make yourselves a no meat version at home.

10 words or less

Warning this post contains video games and is not suitable for respectable people!

I've been playing a lot of games lately so i wanted to do a quick recap of each in 10 words or less. Only gamers will probably understand any of this post.

Mass Effect 2

--Probe launched.

Final Fantasy XIII

--fal'Cie, l'Cie, Lychee, Nick Lachey

Critter Crunch

--Feed your son by puking rainbows.

Battlefield: Bad Company 2

--I wish my friends were playing Call of Duty instead.

White Knight Chronicles

--Big Red x 1000

Demon's Souls

--Died, died, died, died, died, taking a break.

TTFN

Still kickin'

Just checking in to make sure everyone knows that I didn't in fact die but more just got lazy and completely neglected my blog. And by lazy I really mean Final Fantasy 13 came out. I have been thinking about a lot of things to blog about lately but in the end I almost always had an idea related to Facebook. The website once predicted to destroy all mankind and corrupt children the world over is now completely mainstream and in every facet of our lives. It was even the first site we bypassed our work filters to get to. Facebook is here to stay but it's not always a good thing.

Long ago I wrote a post about 5 things that I hated about Facebook. Since that whole favorite 5 list craze is now gone (thank goodness) I will structure this post a little differently. Let's start with 2 things that I strongly dislike but sadly am guilty of participating in myself.

First things first. Joseph and Becky are getting married!! Technically I wasn't the one who created this but I did lend my name to it and I am marrying the girl so since we are to be as one this is also my fault. Yes we have the oh so common (especially in Mormonville) marriage group. People get married here so much that I literally see a new update about one of these daily. It really brings to light how poorly we keep in touch with people. Nobody knows anyone else's address. At least my group was mostly for kicks and we just shared a few pictures and didn't even ask for addresses on it.

Which brings up the next thing which I am fully guilty of. Remember when your parents used to complain that instead of visiting your friend you called? And then it was using AIM instead of calling. Then back to calling but this time from a cellphone. Well now you jump on Facebook or Twitter or something similar. I am fully guilty of this. My brother chastised me when compiling addresses because I Facebooked people instead of calling them. Most our invitations are mailed out and I just today remembered to call my friends who aren't on Facebook and even then I just texted them. It reminds me of the other day when there was a crisis at work and someone was trying to reach my supervisor. He actually got on his Xbox and went into game to message my supervisor and it worked! Wow, maybe I should write letters again. For you kid readers a letter is this thing you write on paper. We used to prefer to write in cursive because it was frivolous and fancy. Then you put it into a folded piece of paper called an envelope. then you put... crap I'm over 140 characters I've lost them anyway.

Next up is the one thing from my last list that somehow survived. Everything else ended up being a fad but Mafia Wars lives on. Or more generally Zynga is taking over the world one farm at a time. Never heard of Zynga? What about Farmville, YoVille, Mafia Wars, Vampire, PetVille or Cafe Wars. If you've been on Facebook you know of people who always seem to be finding those darn eggs they just can't use. It may seem tempting to take those eggs off their hands or help them build something but don't do it, it's a trap! these "games" are nothing more than timer bars with micro-transactions built in. Yes you can play for free but how else will you get that shiny new tractor. I work for a game company that uses the micro-transaction business model and they make a ton of money feeding on addiction. Ooh a new costume is released; let's buy 50 boxes that have a chance of dropping it. Or let's buy the new cute pet. A recent news article reported a boy was so addicted he spent all his money and then stole his mom's credit card to rack up a $1,400 bill on the game. I got to admit though the system works and it works oh so very well.

Even more scammy than Zynga are those stupid gift card and other giveaways everyone participates in. Really? Best Buy is just handing out $1000 gift cards just for being a fan of them? Really? You actually believe this? Come on common sense people! If it were IKEA on the other hand that's got to be legit. Oh wait? That was a scam too? But 37,000+ other people tried it so it must have been real. that IKEA one was snatching 5,000 new suckers per hour! you would think we'd be smarter than that. If it takes you off Facebook, asks for personal information, is too good to be true, or any of the multiple red flags these things send up it is a SCAM! Oh and there is no super Disney secret, funniest video ever, or super hot girl you need to be a fan of to find out more about either. Those are viruses or porn. Maybe you knew the girl one was porn but there are easier ways to find that. The worst part is people because fans of these "just to check them out" but claim they actually never went to the site or participating for real. Guess what? You just opened your entire contact list to spam. This in turn might get a handful more people to "just check them out" and boom your are advertising for criminals.

To end on a less serious note I bet I can find 1,000,000 people who think Obama is a Communist onion ring and thereby is more popular than Justin Bieber and Nickleback combined. Is it just me or is it sad that all those types of pages have no where close to 1,000,000 people? 1,000,000 people? I bet you can't.

This is freakin' amazing!

There comes a time when you see something so amazing that it knocks your socks off literally. I can't believe I was allowed to witness such an amazing event. In fact I just had to write about it while....

April Fools! I didn't write a new blog post.

Double April Fools I do plan on writing one just not this instant!

It's a trap!

So my work has given me a company phone to use. This new one is a huge upgrade over my old phone. I used to use a simple Sony Ericsson "walkman" phone. That's right my phone has the special ability to play music. So can my iPods, computer, laptop, playstation, gameboy, DS, alarm clock, transistor radio, TV, car, and birthday cards. Pretty high tech right there. The new phone I got is a Blackberry Curve. They call it a smart phone! So far it hasn't solved any of life's mysteries but here is what I can do with it:

Listen to Pandora while taking a dump

Check emails while taking a dump

Play poker with other people most likely also taking a dump

Pinpoint the exact location I am currently taking a dump

Edit this blog while taking a dump

Identify a song that sounds most like taking a dump (think Miley Cyrus)

Take pictures of the dump I took

Facebook those pictures

and the list goes on....

Seriously, every time I'm in a public bathroom I hear everyone around me on their phones. No wonder the magazine and newspaper industries are failing.

But here is the twist. My company pays hundreds I'm sure for the unlimited data plan and everything else this type of phone uses. It all seemed fine and dandy until the other night while watching TV I caught myself responding to a work email off my phone. It's a trap! It started with me innocently seeing an alert for a new email. I got curious and checked it out. "Oh," I thought to myself, "I can answer this quick. It's an easy question," and then boom they got me doing work from home! They also got me carrying this thing everywhere I go. I'm just a short phone call away. At least with my old phone I could turn it off or drop it in a lake. Since this new phone they pay for I can't. This must be how doctors feel.

Note: for any supervisor reading this I love my job and this is a joke. Hahahahaha joke hahahaha. Please don't fire me :-P

Not getting coal for these songs

Since the bad Christmas list was taking up so much space I decided to separate the good list for another post and another day. That and typing with a broken finger starts to hurt after a while. This list was a little harder to make since there are definitely many more good an not annoying songs around the holidays. Limiting them to the five I like the most was difficult but I did my best so here they are in reverse order, because that's how you do top lists, in reverse order:

#5 - To keep with the way I did #5 on the bad list I will choose a grouping of songs for the good ones as well. Mannheim Steamroller and The Trans-Siberian Orchestra are two groups who have carved their own niche in the Christmas music business and I can say that I enjoy pretty much anything that they make. Even if the original songs aren't the greatest I still enjoy them after either of these two groups awesomify them.

#4 - This next one was actually introduced to me by Mannheim Steamroller which is sad because it has been around for a very long time. It's a Ukrainian work that was originally performed with voice only. It sounds amazing like that as well as with instruments and no voice. Unfortunately it has now been heavily commercialized and ruined by companies like Garmin and Hooters Casino in Las Vegas (don't ask). This has caused it to slip to #4 but it still is an amazing song. Also to keep with the whole synchronized light theme from above I've included another light display synced to the instrumental version. Carol of the Bells:

#3 - This song has the weird position of being on both lists. It's kind of sad that a song which I enjoy so much can be altered and changed to the point where one version of it makes my bad list. Then again maybe it's a good thing showing that no matter how bad you make a song you can still love the original. This simple carol sung by pretty much everyone at every Christmas is one of the first ones I was ever exposed to and still sing to this day. Even the rude Batman Smells or the French Vive le Vent versions are some of my favorites. Jingle Bells:

#2 - Yet another song with good childhood memories comes in at #2. During Christmas there are many special movies and cartoons. I wasn't big on the movies and still haven't seen many of them but I did watch lots of the cartoons when I was growing up. One song from one of the cartoons always plays through my head during Christmas. Unfortunately the cartoon has now been blasphemed with the two computer generated movies but I still love the original show and song anyway. That and I still want a hula-hoop. Christmas Don't Be Late:

#1 - Back to more traditional Christmas songs there is one carol that for some reason I always love listening to. It is a calm, peaceful song that crescendos into something that gives goose bumps every time I hear it. I also tend to prefer the male renditions of this song. For me Christmas isn't complete without hearing this carol at least once. Luckily almost every Christmas concert or musical performance includes this one. My #1 Christmas choice. O Holy Night:

Christmas makes my ears bleed.

It is almost Christmas and as typical with the season we are inundated with holiday music. radio stations either switch over to completely seasonal fare or intermix the occasional song within their rotation. While there are other December holidays with their own music I'd like to focus on the one with the most, Christmas. Sorry Dreidel Song you will have to find someone else's blog for recognition.

Unfortunately there are some really bad and annoying Christmas songs. Anyone who works in retail will attest that after 8 hours straight of listening to bad music you are ready to strangle the nearest reindeer. Then again I've never heard good music in a Gap store and always want to strangle annoying kids in the mall. Maybe it's some evil plot for human population management? Let's start with my five most hated Christmas songs in reverse order:

#5 - For this one it's a huge tie and encompasses an entire genre of music. if I didn't lump these all together I'd need like a Top 100 list to have room for anything else. Any country music singer slaughtering an existing Christmas song or writing an original one falls in at #5. I really don't care what it would be like if Santa drove a red pickup truck or started off hunting reindeer, stay away from holidays, in fact stay away from music all together.

#4 - This song is probably one that came to mind while reading the fifth worst song. While it has a very country vibe to it I don't really think it is a country song. It still is awful though. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer:

#3 - This next "classic" Christmas song is probably one of the more creepy ones. It was written in the 50's so I'm sure it's innocent but for me it's still weird. This has been covered by many modern artists but Jimmy Boyd is the one who made it famous. For me his voice is kinda grating as well. Yes I said "his," this is a guy singing the song. Granted he is 11 at the time but he does sound like a woman. Another womanly man who sang this song is Dee Snyder of twisted Sister. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus:

#2 - This next song would have placed #4 or #5 if only done by the original singer Eartha Kitt but the string of covers make it worse and worse. There is something about this song that exudes annoying. Looking around the web I see this is on many people's lists as well for awful Christmas songs so I am not alone. I couldn't remember who sang the worst version of this song and listening to it over and over by other singers was bringing out the strangle reflex (see above) so I will concede the most annoying version to Madonna's. Santa Baby:

#1 - This last one is kind of an interesting one. I like the song alright but Frank Sinatra's version adds so many annoying parts to it that it completely ruins the song. Combining a spelling lesson with a holiday song is never a good idea. I want to open presents not learn something! On top of that this one play frequently on loops in malls, department stores, and other public places. Most songs get bad after multiple repetitions but this one get annoying at an exponential rate. It's sad too since the original song and its other iterations are some of my favorites. Jingle Bells as sung by Frank Sinatra:

There you have it my 5 most hated, annoying, obnoxious, awful, bad Christmas songs. I am aware that there are probably worse than these (someone pointed out Elton John's Christmas song) but I haven't heard of them as of yet and don't plan to listen to new bad songs just for the list. Instead these are the 5 that first come to mind and are forever stuck in my head. Honorable mention goes to a song I was just introduced to this year. Since it hasn't the same time to annoy me as the other 5 I can't count it for the list... yet. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas: