My ears, they burn; but somehow my kids will learn.

Ooh look a top 5 list! I love these things. Or at least like most people I love getting my data in top list format. There is just something about them that I can't resist no matter how mundane or useless the list is.

Last night my cousin sent me a youtube video (something else I just can't resist) of some crazy, acid trip kids show of the likes not seen since Teletubbies called Boohbah.

This got me to thinking and reminiscing about other crazy kids shows that come to mind and more importantly the obnoxious, odd, brain melting songs that I can never remove from my memory. Any of my maybe 3 readers, if you have kids make sure they are in the room when you watch these. That way they get addicted and will beg you to keep playing them.

To start things off at my number 5 I have an oldie but goodie. Maybe one of the most iconic songs in young kids shows history. I Love You from Barney and Friends:

Another song from that era of kids programming that comes in at my number 4 is from a lesser watched show that I actually liked more than Barney. Unfortunately it is also one of the most annoying songs ever written, and it never ends. The Song that Never Ends from Lamb Chop's Play-Along.

Next up on my list is a song that really isn't all that obnoxious. It's also from a show that I didn't hate. In fact it is hands down the best kids show ever made. This song just somehow is always in my head and will never leave. My wife even catches me singing it to myself at home. A New Way to Walk from Sesame Street.

Now for some more modern kids shows. At number 2 is a song I drove one of my best friends crazy with. I got her son super addicted to this song and I'm sure she'll be glad I'm giving it a mention here. Maybe her son will hear it again! You Are a Pirate from Lazy Town.

And now for my number 1 kids song that I can't stand and for some reason can't ever forget. I don't understand this show, I don't understand this song and I can't for the life of me figure out why this show is so popular. The writing is horrible and nothing makes any sense. At least stupid Saturday morning cartoons didn't pretend to be educational... or did they? Knowing is half the battle and the power is yours anyway. Party in My Tummy from Yo Gabba Gabba.

And now if you are familiar with my lists I tend to throw in an honorable mention in. Mostly just because I forgot something and I want to include it anyway. This time there is a valid reason or at least I'm making one up. I couldn't really include this last one in since it is a cartoon and is not normally considered in the same category as these other shows. It does have the annoying songs though! The Spongebob Theme from, duh, Spongebob.

Halloween time!

Being short on cash and motivation this year I almost didn't do anything for Halloween. Fortunately (I think) for everyone my wife and I decided last minute to put together costumes and carve a pumpkin. For the costumes we didn't want to spend a whole lot of money. Not like my $100 ensemble to go as Plaxico Burress last year. This means we made costumes out of clothes we had. Or in other words my wife dressed me up in her clothes. Viewer discretion is advised.

In this one my wife was teaching my how to sit and pose properly. I don't think I passed:

A standing shot trying to look like a hot drag queen I guess:

And a hideous flexing shot:

Scary, I know. I now know what women put up with. Mascara is obnoxious and messes with your eyes, bras are tight and uncomfortable, you have to wear so many layers, and whoever knows the secret to keeping long hair out of the eyes, mouth and your food please share that with me.

As for the pumpkin it isn't quite as gender bending. Instead of the traditional two eyes, nose and mouth we went a little crazy. We wanted to do one of those fancy pants scraped? style pumpkins that show shading and different levels of light. We also wanted mass appeal since I am entering in the contest at work so we did one of Mario in a Tanooki suit. I think it turned out great for our first time ever. We designed the pattern, carved, scraped, textured and lit the thing. It took 4-5 hours but it was fun. At least until the end when our hands were sore and stained orange. I would also like to take a moment and thank Martha Stewart for making such wonderful pumpkin carving kits. Way better than the $1 Walmart ones.

In progress:

Lights on:

And the final product:

Happy Halloween everyone. Don't dream of female Joe too much.

Jackpot!

Now all the thrill of losing your life savings whilst only wasting time and never getting a payout. I present to you the Lottery Simulator.

Click Here for Sim

Knowing how much some people play the lottery this is kind of depressing actually.

Dogs get all the bad words

I was driving to work today and I noticed a person trying to get rid of puppies outside the local grocery store. On their handwritten sign they listed the puppies as "Shih tzu poo' puppies." I guess these were a mix between shih tzus and poodles. So is the proper name a Shiht poo or Poo Shiht for these? Would I get weird looks for asking a pet store if they had any?

Doppelganger

Lately there has been a lot of BYU news when it relates to collegiate sports. With the loss of Utah the Mountain West Conference is not looking too good anymore and BYU is planning to/already has left the conference to pursue independent status in the NCAA. The bigger news in my opinion is our new school sports slogan. We Are!

Really BYU? That is the best you could come up with? Do we need to be even more like Penn State? There have been more than one instance of me finding Penn State apparel in the BYU bookstore. If it's confusing enough to confuse a minimum wage college bookstore stock supervisor then imagine how annoying it is for the rest of us. Let's go over all the things that make us just like Penn State. Note: It is possible some of these things were BYU related before they were Penn State related but for comparison sake I'm just going to list them all.

Happy Valley - I've heard both areas referred to by this name. For Penn State it refers to the area around the State College campus and the sports teams that reside there. It apparently was from the Great Depression because that area was not hit as hard by the difficult times. For BYU the area south of Salt Lake is commonly referred to as Happy Valley as well. I would assume the meaning now more relates to the presumed happiness of the Mormons who live there but all the references to it I could find in my whopping 2 minute Google session refer back to prescription drug abuse by Mormon housewives. Err what? Then again that's a much more modern description than the original nickname.

Colors - Both schools use blue and white. Technically BYU uses Dark blue and white with some tan but it is still very similar. Looking at multiple logos, uniforms, ads, etc... they are often identical. Going a little bit back in time BYU also just used blue and white.

Mascot - What the heck is a Nittany Lion? Oh it's just a mountain lion that once roamed the Mount Nittany area near the school. What's another word for mountain lion? Cougar. Fun fact, a cougar is also an older woman cruising for younger men.

Now we have the same chant; We Are! I know it's not the most original slogan in the world but that's just my point. 0 points for originality BYU. Fully Invested was much better (even if it required an apparel purchase to be true). On second though that one was stupid too.

Douchebag parking and why I'm beginning to be for it.

The douchebag park job. We've all seen it. Whether it be at the far end of a parking lot or right up in front to show off someone's ride it happens everywhere. Even at my work we have at like 5-6 people practicing this style of parking. It used to be obnoxious and annoying to me but with recent developments I've becoming more and more supportive of it. Why you ask? Because even bigger douchebags keep damaging my car and then fleeing the scene. No note, no sorry, nothing.

I don't drive a super expensive tuner or gigantic beyond practicality truck. I just drive a simple Prius. But I still hate it when people door ding or straight up hit my car and do nothing about it. My first hit was by a teenage girl driver going way too fast in the church parking lot. She miss-judged a turn and skimmed across my front bumper. She at least came and got me to apologize. Since then that same front bumper has been scraped, bumped and pressed against at least 3 more times. I understand there is already damage there but quit hitting it! I notice the new marks and scratches and it's infuriating. The back bumper I originally damaged slightly but lately it's been like the front bumper. I keep getting newer scratches and dents. It has been hit also at least 3 more times. One even looks like someone took a pole or something and poked at it 5 or 6 times. The passenger door couldn't survive parking lot damage either. The first was actually on the street when someone full on pulled out into my car. It left extensive damage and I had to pay to get the doors replaced. That was fun on my budget. Now just a couple of days ago I come out after eating at a restaurant and some idiot opened their door into the side leaving a huge paint transfer and some scratches. It just doesn't end.

More and more I niw see why people park in the back of lots or park diagonal. Then all you need to worry about is people keying your car. If it keeps up I may just have to join in with the douchebag parking bandwagon.

New Baby!

Well that didn't take long. Just over a month after being married, Joseph and Becky Meyers are proud to announce a new addition to our family. At 55" and around 90 pounds this bundle of joy will provide hours of happiness to come. This Samsung UN55B8500 TV is rated the best of the best LCD TVs. It comes with 240Hz anti motion blur technology (which is useless since our eyes can't take advantage of it) and a full array LED back-lighting system. We opted to not go for 3D since that is still new, still super expensive, and you have to pay $150 a piece to wear dorky battery operated glasses. If and when 3D catches on then we'll upgrade... maybe. 3D is fun but I don't see myself wanting it all the time (that's what she said). I always have my Virtual Boy to fall back on for 3D anyway.