Joe's adventures in sexting.

Yeah you read that right, sexting. It's the new cellphone craze where you send nekkid pictures of yourself and receive then in return from the person you are sexting with. All the cool kids are doing it! Ok, I admit I just used that title to get your attention but I really do have a sexting story to share even though it is quite creepy.

I was just sitting at work one day hard at work and minding my own business. Notice how all bad stories start with "minding my own business" in the first few sentences? And I get this text message froma number I didn't recognize. I looked up the area code in google and it was from Texas. I have friends in Texas so I figured it may be one of them using a friend's/wife's phone or something. Here is how the conversation played out with the addition of my commentary on what I was thinking in paranthesis:

Unkown Caller: U there

Me: Yes who is this?

Unknown Caller: Ed

(Urge to ask a question about horses rising....)

Me: Ed who?

Ed: Ed

(At this point I figured it was a computer text spammer that would just answer "Ed" every time it saw the word "who" so I decided to mess with it)

Me: So if i type who you auto respond

Ed: Do what? Im confused

(I guess I confused him into thinking it was some secret password thing)

Ed: Did u get the pics i sent u yet

(This can't be good)

Me: I am trying to figure out who you are and it looked like you are a spam company

Ed: No spam co. Didnt we talk yesterday

Me: About?

Ed: We talked about us what we looked like u told me u would send pics of..........and i told u i would send pics of stuff

(I like his use of ".........." yadda yadda yadda would have worked to. I can't image which "stuff" he was trying to send me pictures of)

Me: You have the wrong number im afraid

Ed: Im so sorry how embarassing

("Go ahead and take a seat, take a seat right there." Sorry that was a South Park reference for those of you that didn't catch it)

Ed: Did i send pics 2 u by accident

(Thank goodness no)

Me: Negative

Ed: Ok good. Sorry

What is even creepier is no less than maybe 30 minutes later I get another random text, this time from Pennsylvania, that ended up being something very similar. So I can only hope this was from some stupid dating site and not child predators but who knows. Maybe it was Zac Efron getting the latest nudie shot from Vanessa Hudgens and my number is close. Who knows. just a very uncomfortable incident that has scarred my phone forever.

Love thy neighbor

When I first was looking at buying the house I currently own I had heard rumors that the neighborhood was upset at me for buying it. They didn't want some dirty, single student trash type living in their neighborhood. I don't blame them either; I'm a horrible person that should probably be locked away forever. This of course worried me some. I didn't want to move into a hostile situation. That really isn't what I was looking for. In the end I decided it was all a silly rumor and I went forward with purchasing my first home.

Fast forward to today and I'm just about to head out the door to work. I hear the doorbell ring and found it strange seeing as nobody I know is awake at 7:30 in the morning unless they are headed to work. At first I thought they were solicitors though usually I don't get any of those types until the evenings. Upon closer inspection I saw that their badges were for the Provo City Code Enforcement Agency. Are they even considered an agency? Maybe it said group, or club, or secret society of affluent future politicians. It was early and I was tired so I forget exactly what their title was. Basically somebody was tattling on me for something and they were here to enforce it.

Their first gripe was they had reports I was living with tons of renters. Granted this is a very valid concern in Provo with all the students and illegal apartments going on but I only live with 1 person. I do have a cat though and he weighs like 20 lbs so maybe he makes me go over the occupancy limit. I explained this to them and they gave me a shocked and disbelieving look. I was very close to showing them that I have two completely empty bedrooms, almost no furniture whatsoever, an empty fridge, and the only roommate I have was living in the smallest room of my house. Instead I ignored their thinly veiled accusation I was lying (they asked me if I was sure I only have one roommate) and I explained to them that my brother was planning to move in later as well as one more friend. Immediately they told me that would not be allowed. Err, I've read to zoning laws and I am completely legal. The law states 1 head of household, all family members (note; Provo does not consider cousins or in-laws family), and no more than 2 non related singles.

After I corrected them on their incorrect knowledge of the laws they are to enforce they switched to complaining about my lawn. I'll admit I didn't check the city laws about lawn condition but then again should I need to? Lawn care is usually something left to Home Owner's Associations and my neighborhood does not have one. I looked earlier today and the only thing I can find so far about lawn condition is if you store junk in your lawn or have so many overgrown weeds that a fire hazard is present. My lawn is dead, plain and simple. I watered it for a couple weeks and nothing grew but a few small weeds so I gave up. It is the middle of the summer and I just moved in what exactly do they want me to do? The previous owner trashed the place and never took care of anything so it really isn't my problem. I want a nice green lawn too but right now it isn't the right time to seed and I don't have sufficient money to fix something I find as a secondary luxury.

I think they realized they were wrong about being able to get me on my lawn so they moved to their third problem, the pieces of fencing stored in my RV parking at the side of my house and the small play shed at the end of my parking area in the back yard. Again this is something I thought was normally handled by a Home Owner's Association and not city officials unless it reaches the level of fire, health or other safety hazard. I have a small children's play shed and a couple pieces of vinyl and metal fencing. While unsightly these objects are not hazardous and they have been on the properly for probably 5 or more years. When I bought the house the sellers agreed to remove the shed which among multiple other things she lied about. I have been unsuccessful in getting her to do what she said she would so I am working on getting that stuff cleaned up. But seriously this stuff including the poorly maintained lawn has been this way for years. Why wait until the filthy non-breeder moves in to make a big fuss over it?

After making me late for work the agent finally agreed I was doing what I needed to remedy the situation and left saying they would mail me a letter with all my "violations" in it. I am kind of interested to see what they try to hit me with since it is all baseless. This does frustrate me though. I went around and tried to meet and talk with all my neighbors to alleviate their concerns and explain what I was doing but I guess either someone lied to my face or the neighbors I have yet to talk to were offended I did not grace them with my presence.

Provo laws are discriminatory enough without overzealous neighbors trying to throw their weight around. First of all, I'm not technically a single person. I'm a divorcee just like the previous owner who was not harassed. Second, I am not a student. So all their misguided hatred towards students is unfounded. Third, I want to make the place nice. I have heard horror stories about the previous owners. I have seen the damage and neglect to the property first hand and I am trying to fix things. I'm not going to trash the place like the last owners. Fourth, just because I don't have children doesn't make me any less of a citizen or person. It's not my fault my wife abandoned me. I know of married couples without kids and no one complains to them. I mean if it is that big of a deal I can invite women of questionable standards over and make some. That would really add some class to the neighborhood. Lastly, just back off. If you got problems come to me and tell me to my face. Don't send people to do your dirty work with semi made up rules and fancy badges. I just drove through the neighborhood on my way to work and guess what? Someone else has a dead lawn they are repairing. Someone else stores construction materials in their driveway. Other people are renting. Other people don't have kids. Other people go to school. It's not that big a deal.

I guess some good will come of this. I will definitely be taking local elections more seriously from now on. I don't understand why us marriage-impaired don't rise up and fight against the discrimination. Their are more of us after all.

Zombie of the month

Every year our manager buys calendars for all the supervisor level employees in our department. These calendars range from workplace themed calendars like a cubicle decoration calendar to the more wacky 12 months of pirates calendar. They had an extra one (and by extra I mean unwanted) this year and it was gifted to me by one of the project managers. I present to you the Boogeymanuals Zombie Field Guide Calendar! That's right, I was given a zombie calendar at work, complete with all the requisite blood splatter backgrounds, grotesque faces, and somewhere in there is a very small calendar. Why ruin a perfectly good calendar with things like days of the week and month names? For the month of July we have the Dog Zombie:

Identifying Marks - Red eyes; oily, matted fur; open wounds with possible parasitic infestation; advanced motor response with lethal consequences; basic canine speech capability (i.e., snarls and growls)

Origin - Viral transmission

Gore Factor - Visceral; rabid

Intelligence - Medium

Mobility - Quick bursts of acceleration combined with superior agility

Hot Spots - Private medical facilities; government agencies

Danger Rating - 8

I always knew that the government was creating these undead dog armies but I had no idea they hoarded them in hospitals. Yet another reason to hate going to see doctors. Luckily I always carry a sawed-off shotgun and grenade launcher in my pocket to take care of any zombies I encounter having superior agility. Now I just need to figure out what a gore factor of "rabid" is referring to.

Skeptoid

I looked back and I guess my recent posts have mostly been negative rants. This one should be a much happier tone. I am a little late in the game but I have started listening to podcasts lately. The nerd in me wants to listen to all the gamer podcasts but I figure I read enough gaming and computer articles that there is no need to listen to people read them to me. Instead I try to vary my podcasts a little. My first two were the official Lost podcast and the BS Report. The Lost podcast really is only for those who follow the show, which everyone should be watching anyway. The BS report is a humorous mostly sports related podcast put out by Bill Simmons, a popular ESPN columnist. I highly recommend it but what I really want to talk about is the newest podcast I found.

As is also the title of my post this podcast is called Skeptoid. It is dedicated to debunking urban legends, discussing scientific explanations for things, and discussing weird pop culture phenomena. It is a fun podcast that touches subjects like aliens, bunk science, politics, conspiracy theories and the like. His most recent podcast about Sarah Palin I found very very good and regardless of your political leanings I would recommend a listen. Some other good ones are the ones about high fructose corn syrup, FEMA prison camps and any of the listener feedback ones.

Overall he has 150+ podcasts and his site has transcripts and other ways to listen for those that don't have iPods *cough* Dan and his crappy Zune *cough* as well as other things he writes about and does. I really enjoy what he does and I hope you do as well.

Some people should not be allowed to reproduce.

It may be mean but it is true. I probably won't be a perfect father either but seriously it's ridiculous how little some people care. I see evidence of this every time I'm in public whether it be the mall, in a park, at a restaurant and especially at movie theaters which is what I want to discuss further.

I just got back from watching the new Transformers movie and while I enjoyed it the kids were just plain out of control. I understand it is a movie based on a cartoon but it is rated PG-13 for a reason. It is such a simple rating to understand too. None of this confusing G, PG and R stuff. It has the age right in the name; 13, meaning appropriate for 13 and up. There was lots of swearing, violence, sex jokes, drugs and more in the movie. I know I'm not judge the for when a person is old enough to view these sorts of things but when a 6 year old is laughing about a crude reference to losing one's virginity (think fruit) it is obvious she's seen way too many movies she shouldn't have.

But I digress. What I really want to touch on is the lack of parenting leading to the bad behavior at the theater tonight. I'll go by age group starting with infants; those who are completely reliant on their parents to protect them and care for them. Movies are NOT a place for infants, period. They do not understand where they are or what is going on. Loud sounds frighten them and can damage their hearing. Get a babysitter or don't go. When you become a parent you need to make some sacrifices. I know of no movie good enough to sacrifice my child's well being for. I understand that you need to get away every once and a while and have some time on your own but guess what? When you bring your baby with you to a movie theater you still aren't spending time on your own. Every single time there was a fight scene or explosion at least one child starting screaming. I counted at least 4 different crying babies throughout the movie and not a single one of them was ever taken to the hallway. Unacceptable.

Next comes the age when you should know how to behave but sometimes need reminding. These are the ones aged around 5-10 years old. Given their display tonight I will refer to them as "Climbers." I already mentioned that there shouldn't be any Climbers watching this movie but this theater was chock full of them. I mentioned to my friends that the Climbers behind me weren't as bad as the ones behind them but that was only because I got my seat kicked 2-3 times instead of throughout the entire movie. See the problem with the Climbers age group is they have a very short attention span. You lose them in 5 minutes so good luck trying to get them through a 2.5 hour movie. The ones behind us decided that climbing around the seats was the best use of their time. There was another in front that was let run up and down the aisle as well as allowed to climb the 10 foot wall next to the stairs. For those of you not following the math, child + 10 foot fall = bad parents. Some Climbers also got bored climbing inanimate objects and decided that sitting and climbing in mom's lap was more fun. I had one child in front of me that kept bouncing or jumping in his mom's lap throughout the last half of the movie. It is really hard to watch a movie seeing a shape bouncing around out of the corner of my eye. If your kid is bored take him home. The movie wasn't right for him in the first place and there is no way you can concentrate on it with a child jumping around.

Moving on we get to the t'weens and teens. Quite possibly the worst age group because they should know better. I guess I can't directly blame parents for these ones since most are unaccompanied but my guess is lack of discipline led to certain behaviors. We purposefully avoided sitting near three boys I dub the "Punch Brothers" because they could not resist repeatedly punching each other the entire time in line. Sitting near them was just asking for trouble. Unfortunately we got stuck sitting around those that are so addicted to text messaging they just can't resist for a couple hours. Multiple times before the movie they ask you to silence your phones. That is hard enough for people to understand so many theaters are saying now to turn phones off and specifically saying NO TEXTING! Sorry let me rephrase, PLS NO TXTING!!!11!! It's bad enough hearing your phone vibrate every 5 seconds but when you open your phone it turns on a light. News flash! You are in a dark theater so any light source is going to be a distraction to everyone around you. I really think theaters should be monitoring and kicking people out for this. A girl behind me even started talking on her phone at one point. The evil glare shut her up pretty fast (at least t'weens are still young enough to be intimidated).

Common courtesy is all I ask. I don't mind soft talking. I don't mind laughing. Heck I don't even mind if a child is starting to become fussy and is immediately taken out to the hall. It is the complete disregard for anyone else that bothers me. Unfortunately I am at a loss as to what can be done. I can't just avoid kids movies because non-kids movies are chock full of kids. Plus, Harry Potter and even Spongebob had more well behaved kids than tonight. I can't wait for a movie to lose popularity enough to have empty theaters either. All my friends usually discuss new movies and what would be the point of paying the outrageous ticket prices to see an old movie relegated to the smaller and older theater rooms? My only attempt at a solution is that theaters start kicking more people out as examples and that we don't let some people have kids. Though I do wonder what would be more difficult, enforcing rules or forced sterilization.

On a side note, Gamestop and similar video game retailers are NOT daycare centers and Grand Theft Auto is NOT a good video game for a 3rd grader. Then again maybe I'm completely off base and shooting hookers after sleeping with them is good for kids.

Outsourced call center to the rescue! The saga of Joe vs the deadbeat Ebay seller.

This whole story began when I decided that I wanted to buy Rockband 2. Being a cheapskate I found a bunch of used sets on Ebay for a pretty good price. I purposefully avoided the obvious wholesalers thinking that if I bought from a person instead there was a better chance of getting the game in better condition. I found a seller that had no selling feedback and low buying feedback (a red flag I know) but when I asked him about the condition of his game he immediately responded which is rare with scam sellers. The feedback he did have also checked out as legit and not "purchased" feedback. This is where my troubles began. On May 15th I won the auction and immediately tried to send payment. When using the Paypal button to checkout I got an error message stating that there was a problem with the user's account and to arrange payment through another means. In my experience this is always a bad thing and whenever there is a problem with a user's Paypal account it means investigation, fraud, delinquency or something else bad. I immediately sent the seller a message through the Ebay messaging system and then called Ebay directly to find out how to proceed and how to make sure I was protected. The Ebay agent was very helpful and suggested I contact the seller for an alternate Paypal address to send payment to and then to note in the payment details I was paying for an auction. I was a little wary of this but she guaranteed Ebay could track the payment and would link it to the auction as if I used the checkout button (which as fishy as it sounds turned out to be true). The seller quickly responded with an alternate account, I sent payment, and he responded asking for an address to ship to. I assumed this meant he was shipping the next day and all would be well.

About a week later I hadn't heard from the seller and was expecting a tracking number. The auction clearly states that I was paying for UPS Ground shipping with insurance so I assumed I would be getting a tracking number. No response. I again sent a message asking for a tracking number and notifying the seller I would be moving soon and I had given him plenty of time to ship the game to me before that would happen but at the very least if I had the UPS tracking number I could have them hold it for pickup or I could have them change the end address if needed. Again, no response. Finally I get a message from the seller on May 27th (2 weeks after payment) that he was having account problems and would ship ASAP. He hadn't even shipped it yet!! At this point I was getting very worried I was being ripped off but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and sent him my new address to ship to. I figured by the time it got to me I would have been moved in already and again with a UPS tracking number I could deal with them and make sure I got the package ok. I again received no response and filed a dispute claim with Paypal on June 4th.

Another week goes by and no response from the seller and no updates to the case. Things were looking good and I figured Paypal would end up ruling in my favor. I sent another message to the seller through Ebay's messaging system telling him to not even worry about trying to ship the game at this point (it had been almost a month since payment) and to just refund my money so we both could move on). I had already found the game through another seller at this point because I was tired of waiting and figured he was never going to send anyway. I had also called Paypal and they agreed with me that the buyer should just refund the money and it was ok that I had bought the game elsewhere at this point. They just needed to wait the allotted time before they could issue my refund. I guess asking for my money back were the magic words because almost immediately after the seller ships the package and notifies Paypal of this (June 10th). I start to get anxious. I don't want two copies of the game and I just wanted my money back. I immediately call Paypal and ask them what I should do. They again said it was ok and I should get a refund. All I needed to do was refuse the package and have it returned to the seller. Once that happens they can immediately refund my money. This is where the fun begins.

I realize that the seller did not ship the item via UPS and instead sent it USPS with a delivery confirmation. Even worse he shipped it to my old address and I had already moved to my new house. So I call 1-800-ASK-USPS and tried to get assistance on how to proceed. For those that aren't aware the USPS apparently cannot intercept and refuse packages mid delivery. From what I understand UPS and Fedex both can. I also find out delivery confirmation is not really a tracking method (more on that later) and I would have to wait for them to deliver the package before I could return it to the seller. I figured I'd still be ok so I waited for the package to arrive and checked the delivery status multiple times a day to see where the package was. On June 18th I see a status change and the package was scanned "Undeliverable as Addressed." I was unsure what to do again so I called the USPS and was told this meant the same as the package being refused and it would be returned to sender. They reiterated that delivery confirmation was not a tracking service and that it would most likely not be updated until it arrived back at the seller's post office. I asked the agent again if she was sure it was being returned and she assured me it was. I then called Paypal and told them what I was just told and asked if "Undeliverable as Addressed" status would be good enough for a refund. They said it wasn't but when it is marked as returned to the original post office I would get my refund then. I thought I was finally done.

Surprise! I get home the next day and I see a crushed, torn, and completely mangled box at my house. Apparently someone at the post office hand wrote "Current Resident" and my new address on a piece of paper and taped it to the front of the package. Then they sent it to my new house. I was appalled. Not only was "Current Resident" completely unacceptable for a package worth over $100 that was supposedly being "tracked" but I was just told the night before by a USPS employee the package was being returned. Not to mention the box was sealed with at least 3 types of tape, was crushed, had old Fedex labels on it, and was torn in parts. When I picked up the package to take to the post office it was obvious no packing materials were used within and you could hear the metal and plastic pieces banging into each other. I never opened it so I don't know what was inside but I'm guessing mangled plastic mess. I went to my post office and when at the counter asked to have the package refused and returned to sender. They said they would do so but were wary given the damage of the package. I explained that it was how I received it and they said they would send it back but they weren't sure if status would get scanned as refused but should be scanned once it reached the originating address. Again this was worrisome so I called Paypal and the USPS one more time. The man at Paypal was sympathetic and though it ludicrous that I refused a package yet the post office wasn't sure if it would ever be marked as such but again assured me it would be alright and I would get my refund once it arrives at the seller's address. He also mentioned that if it somehow found its way back to my house I could file a complaint about the condition of the product and get refunded that way. The call with the USPS was not as comforting. The lady was rude and very unwilling to help. She repeatedly mentioned USPS policy that a delivery confirmation was not a tracking method and should not be used as such. She also mentioned that it can be wrong and often when things are returned they are not scanned as such. She would then fall back on the policy that it was not a tracking method and was not the USPS's problem if someone else thought it was. I even asked her in a court of law if delivery confirmation could be used and she mumbled something and quickly changed the subject. The post office was now closed so I could not go back and I didn't have the tracking number on my person anymore so she refused to assist me further until I could give her the number for the package.

I waited for the weekend to pass and the status still had not changed for the package so I again called the USPS help line and initiated some sort of trace on the package. The agent again noted that delivery confirmation is not a tracking system and should not be used as such but that they would locate the package and update the status. She also told me an agent would call me by the end of the next business day and notify me of the status change. The next business day came and went and no phone call or status update occurred. I again called Paypal to get further advice on how to proceed. Upon hearing that the USPS delivery confirmation was being used the Paypal agent quickly stated that she knew the USPS often doesn't scan things as refused or returned to sender and that it would probably stay marked as delivered. This infuriated me since I was doing everything the Paypal agents were telling me I needed to do and not once did any of them mention that they already knew the delivery confirmation status would be a problem. She then said other things which angered me even further. She claims that regardless what the auction states, the seller can use any shipping method they choose without penalty. This basically means you can pay someone for overnight UPS and the seller can ship it any way they want without penalty. She also said that even though USPS policy states delivery confirmation isn't a tracking method Paypal sees it as such so if I wanted a refund the USPS has to issue it. The last crazy thing she said was that at any time now the seller can call them and get the dispute closed in his favor just by pointing out the delivery confirmation says delivered. There was no way I could get judgement delayed until I dealt with USPS and there was no way they were going to deal with USPS or find out what was going on. As long as the Internet posted status said "Delivered" I was out of luck. Even if it got changed to refused later on I would not be able to reopen the claim but I could try to attempt an appeal. She said it was USPS at fault and that she sees them mess up in this manner all the time. So basically I have, at the direction of Paypal employees returned the game back to the seller and have next to no chance of getting my money back. They want me to get my money back from the USPS who are falling back on their policy that delivery confirmation is not a tracking system. At last resort I decided to give Ebay a call.

Success!! I know there are many who bash Ebay and Paypal support but let me tell you they are completely different experiences. I was also wary at first, I was being transferred to an outsourced, foreign call center that probably had no idea about the perils of the US postal system or anything about my account or policies. Instead I was greeted by a very friendly agent who knew exactly what to do. I really wish I could remember her name but she listened to me rant a bit and took a look at my account. She apologized for the trouble and then transferred me to a special case team for preferred clients. I guess this is Ebay's version of executive customer support. I was connected with Sayiid and he listened attentively to my entire story. He apologized and related how he hears these USPS horror stories all the time and could sympathize. He also took a look at my account and offered a solution. He understood that I no longer had the game in my possession but was unable to prove the true status of the package and that I was getting the runaround by both Paypal and the USPS. He immediately offered me a refund and said that I would no longer have to worry about it. He would close the claim, refund the money, and said I could forget about the whole situation. It didn't matter where the package ended up or who was at fault. I am pretty sure Ebay is just going to take the hit. Personally I would like to see the seller penalized for doing what he did but I am glad to be done with it all. For those out there wanting to get a cheap copy of Rockband 2 I would avoid Ebay seller masensmith78 as he will probably try to resell the game once he gets it back and make another quick $100 ripping someone else off. Plus even if he does ship that game is probably in horrible condition by now.

All in all I learned not to judge a call center based on their location or accents and once you have exhausted all your options with Paypal and the shipper you can always fall back on Ebay's own separate resolution department. Kudos to you Ebay, I will continue to be a happy user of your services. Too bad I have to use Paypal in order to do so.

Some after shots

I know it has been a while since I last posted. I've been busy with the house and things are going a little slower than expected on the remodeling, unpacking, organizing etc.... I took a couple shots of some of the room since I've moved in. The floors are done but I'm still waiting on the manufacturer for the base boards. I also have boxes of stuff still sitting in places and things I'm not sure where to put yet. I also need more furniture but I'm working on that.

Family Room - Before



Family Room - After



Dining Room - Before



Dining Room - After




I will have more up once I get the living room finished and the baseboards put in.